OK, now let me tell you about this toilet.
It’s in our hotel room here in the tiny resort town of Cadaques in Costa Brava, on the Mediterranean coast of Spain, north of Barcelona, isolated by a long, torturous twisting cliff-hugging mountain road, but it may as well be in Tokyo for all its gadgetry.
- Shower (Low, Med, High)
- Bidet (Low, Med, High)
- Dry (Low, Med, High)
As well as a separate control for water temperature on the first two functions.
Let’s be clear: this is a toilet, not a shower, so shower is not for your head.
The room was only 50€ per night (or roughly $70), which isn’t bad for a tiny resort town in the Costa Brava on the Mediterranean coast of Spain, but had it been 500€ we likely would have booked it.
Or at least asked if we could have used the loo while we looked at room.
Here’s our review:
The Inax Clessence Bidet provides an excellent target area for waste deposits, a strong, flexible (if perhaps inflexibily aimed) spray function for cleaning, but is wholly inadequate in the drying department.
Both defecation and urination can be accomplished in the unit without issue, but this is typically not the distinguishing characteristic of such models. Waste acceptance on the part of the unit is generally regarded as a "solved problem" in the toilet / bidet design arena.
Intercourse itself is also outside of the design parameters of the unit.
Upon completion of the preliminary task(s), the user depresses either the "shower" or "bidet" buttons, depending on the desired destination of the resulting stream of water. In either case, a pale, straw-shaped tube slowly extrudes from the back of the bowl, and subsequently said tube jets a strong flow of water upwards towards the areas that require it.
In the case of the "shower", the stream is directed slightly further to the rear, if you will pardon the expression, than in the case of the "bidet". This reviewer found the initial target area of the "shower" to be slightly further forward than desired, landing on the area scientifically known as the perineum, but often colloquially known as the "taint", "chode" or, in certain circles, the "snack bar". However, a quick adjustment in the seat corrected the problem, and a firm, delightful, dilating stream was immediately felt cleaning all the wrinkles of the rectum.
A female reviewer provided a similar review of the "bidet" function, such that the aim was not initially satisfactory, but manual adjustment of the target area to more accurately correspond to the location of the stream provided satisfactory results.
As previously mentioned, however, the "dry" function of the Inax Clessence Bidet leaves much to be desired. Even on "high", the airflow is tepid and mild, and after several minutes of application, the affected regions were still not merely damp, but wet.
Manual moisture removal via application of paper products was required.
Overall, the Inax Clessence Bidet receives a 6.5 rating from this set of reviewers. If final dryness is not an issue, customers may rely on this without hesitation.